[Plates & Patterns] Entry Zero

Cover Photo by Katie Smith on Unsplash

I’ve been thinking about I how I “have to” explore my food stories for a while. That’s what the voice in my head says anyways… It’s demanding. When I hear this come up within, I acknowledge it, and then promptly tuck it away to deal with it later, because this feels bigger than the 2552m volcano I climbed in Guatemala. (True story!)

But for some reason, in the midst of unpacking deeper layers of perfectionism, my intuition told me it was time to start the food exploration. So, here we are.

So welcome to Plate & Patterns!

This is going to be a reflective series exploring the intricate relationship between food, identity, and subconscious conditioning.

As the series unfolds, it will weave in energy practices, shadow work, and inner exploration, all as a part of the conscious self-discovery frame to guide the process of unlearning and re-rooting. Themes of the unconscious will surface, allowing space for a dynamic and organic exploration of food.

Before we move forward though, I’d like to reflect on how I got here and why I want to undertake this journey so publicly.

Beneath my surface, I’m know there are patterns, beliefs, and conditioning that have shaped my relationship to food, and subsequently my disordered eating (which I label as ARFID). This exploration isn’t about quick fixes or diets — it’s about the intricate dance between nourishment, autonomy, and the subconscious beliefs and patterns we’re playing out on the daily.

And I’m not exploring this because I want to eat differently, or lose/gain weight… No, instead, I opt into this conscious exploration because of my intuition — my inner wisdom’s guidance that it’s time — along with my curiosity at what I might uncover and what might possibly shift as a result of the exploration.

I’m not stepping into this with the determination that I “fix” my ARFID symptoms. Would relief from my ARFID experience be nice? Of course! Yet, I’ve travelled this journey enough to have experienced let down, and disappointment, when I let my expectations and determination lead me into self-discovery.

I’m setting down my expectations, and placing my trust in the universe that this journey will unfold as it is meant to, in a way that is most supportive for my greatest good. For so long, my relationship with food has felt tangled in stories I didn’t consciously choose — stories about worthiness, control, and of course, survival. This journey isn’t just about the physical act of eating; it’s about unlearning what no longer serves me and finding new ways to nourish my body and soul.

This whole public exploration was concocted after a post on Threads about what other autists eat between ‘“safe foods” (a common term among many neurodivergent folks) went micro-viral…

It was evident in the days and weeks that followed — receiving many replies to my conundrum of knowing I need to eat, but nothing feeling “safe” to eat — that ARFID, food challenges amongst some neurodivergent populations, and the intricate relationship between nourishment, sensory needs, and emotional regulation were more prevalent than I realized. On one hand, I felt much less alone. And on the other, I started to wonder: How do people without ARFID or sensory needs experience food? Do they still have unconscious food stories driving their behaviours? What if I documented this exploration of conscious self-discovery? What if I showed my work on this one? What if my process could serve as a blueprint to the conscious self-discovery framework? Might I even inspire others to explore their relationship with food, and reflect on their own subconscious hooks through intaking my personal exploration?

At its heart, Plates & Patterns is about understanding the stories we carry, breaking free from limiting beliefs, and discovering new ways to nourish both body and soul.

Along the way, I’ll share my process to guide the practice of unlearning and re-rooting, in case you want to follow along at home.

Ready to dive in, fork first with me?

So welcome to Plate & Patterns!

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