The big questions like, why are we all here, have always intrigued me.
It’s equal parts fascination with the mystery and grievance with the fact that life is so mysterious… all wrapped up with a small, tiny, minuscule shred of belief, hope, and queer audacity that I might be the one to solve the mystery 😅
Perhaps that tiny part of me was influenced by all The Babysitter’s Club Mystery series, Nancy Drew, and/or Harriet the Spy stories I devoured as a kid.
Whatever the case, my curious nature and hunger for knowledge means this question is never far from my surface.
In fact, I think about the big questions A LOT.
Just yesterday, on our drive home, I asked my partner if he thought that we (as a species) can’t truly agree when the Universe “started” because it never actually started, and will never end. Because our concept of time is based in our perception of reality, from a 3D perspective. Yet non-duality invites us to explore the idea that all distinctions (time, space, self, other) dissolve in the ultimate reality. All states of being co-exist in an eternal "now."
While indulging myself in Conversations with God 2, right after finishing the first book earlier this week, I found a section where God explains that time operates not as a line, from left to right (past to future), but vertically.
Imagine a spindle, stacked with paper. Each piece of paper representing a moment in time. We may be ascending through the pieces one at a time, in what seems like a linear fashion, but all of the pages are already there, existing at the same time.
Just like how a full story exists in a novel; you can start reading from where ever you want, but it will only seem like you’re experiencing one part of the story at a time.
And this isn’t to say that life is pre-determined, just that it is all happening in the now.
This means that while all possibilities exist in the now, we actively shape which ones we experience through our choices, thoughts, and intentions. Think of it as navigating a vast sea of potential: the waves are always there, but the course we take depends on how we steer.
So perhaps naturally, when I decided to seek some wisdom from our plant medicine teachers on the Winter Solstice, while I did not set my intention for the journey to reveal an understanding of the meaning of life, my experience and the teachings that were brought forward led me there anyways.
And I came to see life as meaningless, but in the most beautiful way possible.
Usually when we hear “life is meaningless” it stems from people experiencing existential despair or disillusionment—those grappling with the loss of previously held beliefs or searching for purpose in a world that feels chaotic or indifferent. (Which is often.)
This perspective can come from pessimists, cynics, burned-out idealists, nihilists, or even religion deconstructionists… and is often laden with negative connotation.
But I’m no longer living in my atheist, “nothing matters”-philosophy mindset. So I’m here today to share what insights landed for me and how life is meaningless, but probably not in the way that you think!
Before I dive in, I’d like to acknowledge that insights gained in those liminal spaces can be fleeting; so I’ve done my best to capture and translate to language what it was that I felt in that moment on Winter Solstice 2024.
I’m not claiming this as ultimate fact, but sharing it as a perspective for you to “try on” and consider. However, I will add, that in the moment I was experiencing this realization, it did resonate for me as a universal truth… once again emphasizing, under the influence of a natural entheogenic substance.
I think it’s fair and important for you to have these facts, as you intake this perspective, even knowing that it may create a bias towards what I’m about to share.
When I exclaim: “life is meaningless” now, I feel it as an invitation to come to the understanding that life does not have a fixed, singular meaning.
But rather that life is what we make of it.
I feel that meaningless, does not mean meaning-less.
But instead, meaningless in a way is synonymous to “meaning-full” in this manner. The meaningless-ness is not devoid of or lacking meaning, but instead a fertile void of possibilities.
This paradox of the infinite possibilities within the "meaningless" void—how nothing and everything coexist can be hard to grasp. The void is not empty, but full of potential, and it is through our engagement with it that we give shape and direction to the formless.
This sea of possible meaning holds infinite possibilities. Which is understandably, hard for the mind to hold. And this realization might even feel scary to some.
Which makes sense! Our minds are conditioned to seek certainty, to latch onto fixed answers, and to find structure in the unknown. When faced with the idea that meaning isn't predetermined, it can feel like being adrift in an open ocean, with no clear destination in sight.
But that’s where the magic lies—in the freedom to explore without the constraints of expectation.
Try that on for a moment. What do you notice?
This perspective offers a profound shift from viewing meaning as a fixed goal or expectation to seeing it as a fluid, creative process — just like life.
Even more deeply this shows up as the freedom to experiment without the weight of expectation! (And this part is FREAKIN’ exciting to me!)
The universe inviting exploration without the weight of “right” or “wrong,” only the rhythm of personal discovery?!?!? WHERE DO I SIGN UP?!
Ohhh… that’s how I ended up on Earth in a human body 😂
What if you came into this life just to experiment, and play, and to experience? And there truly is no such thing as “right” or “wrong”?!
How joyous!!!
Assuming we all started from the great I AM, we did not know experience like we have here on Earth. So being here to take it all in, to live every life, and to understand and know through experience unveils our purpose.
But the meaning of it all, is then up to us, as the (perceived) individual.
Let me bring it all back to 3D reality and ground this in something we can all relate to—Ted Lasso.
If you’ve watched the show, you’ve seen Ted embody this very concept. He’s a coach in an unfamiliar world, with no clear “fixed” purpose at first. But through his unwavering belief in people, his openness to learning, and his willingness to embrace the unknown, he creates meaning—not by following a set path, but by living each day as an experiment.
Ted doesn't have all the answers. In fact, he’s often the first to admit that he’s learning as he goes. But what he does have is the courage to dive in, to try things, to fail, and to keep moving forward. His journey isn’t about finding a singular meaning, but rather about creating it through connection, growth, and experience.
In this sense, Ted shows us that life can be full of meaning—not because of any grand, predetermined narrative, but because we have the power to infuse it with our own unique experiences, actions, and choices.
He embodies the freedom to experiment without expectation, and in doing so, he crafts his own purpose.
This reminds me of the phrase " fail forward" - embracing the unknown as a chance to grow, rather than a risk to be avoided.
TL;DR: The “meaningless” aspect does not mean devoid of mean, but instead is a fertile void of possibilities. Infinite possibilities. And the meaning of life is what we make of it. And go watch Ted Lasso.
Perhaps it’s not so much that life is “meaningless”, and rather that the meaning is not static but evolves and shifts in response to our personal journeys and collective experiences. After all, moments of apparent "meaninglessness" are actually opportunities for recalibration and reinvention in disguise; pointing to a more dynamic, evolving understanding of life's significance.
We must be emptied before we can be refilled, and that empty, meaninglessness, is simply ✨SPACE✨ where we can plant our own seeds of meaning.
All that said, does this mean I’m an existentialist now? 🤷
If this perspective allows you to feel empowered, or resonated with you, and you want to take this a bit deeper, here are a few reflection questions to consider:
- If life's meaning is what we make of it, what is the most playful creation you are currently avoiding?
- What if the "meaningless" aspect is actually the freedom to experiment without the weight of expectation? What does this mean for your life?
- What is one small, everyday activity where you can practice this "fail forward" mindset, and see where it takes you?
- Finally, what form does your own "fertile void" take when you close your eyes and breathe into it?
Now that the brush of meaning is yours to hold and to paint with, I can’t wait to watch your masterpiece unfold.